not on us

it is often said

‘everyone likes to feel needed’

but why, then,

do so many of us pretend

it's the other way around?

that we are, indeed,

independent, autonomous beings

perfectly content

faring on our own

without the help

of anyone else?

or stoutly refusing

to admit acquiescence

to any particular philosophy

or teaching?


could it be

that this strange dichotomy

this oddly frank admittance

in the middle of a stage play

devoted to the display of indifference

is, in actuality,

a way of letting ourselves

off the hook?

of breaking the 4th wall

and fanning the flames

with a whisper

that keeps the game going?

'It's OK', it seems to say

'to admit that you're sick,

because everyone else is too;

we're all in it together.'

but it is exactly this

that keeps us from breaking into

our true autonomy

and serves as the glue

fuelling the ever-expanding

constriction

beating

beneath the infrastructure

of all our human institutions

when examined closely enough

it is a condition

baffling in its implications

for the health and well-being

of both the individual

and the collective

LIKING to feel NEEDED

is, in fact, the ultimate declaration

of our NON-BEING

a testament

to our victimhood

in the face of an indifferent universe

creating purpose for itself

through structures of 'health'

that feed on 'sickness'

and 'justice'

that punishes the 'wicked'

and 'wealth'

that tumbles bodies

across lines

meant to unify,

not divide—lines, now nearly covered

completely

and it is this

absurd little game

—the domain of apes, really,

that keeps us raging

in one way or another

against those rare, enigmatic figures

that show up

from time to time

and do completely, ineffably

mirror the emptiness

of the universe

embodying all we've declared holy

—and all we declare openly

to be achieving—

in their indifference

to the unspoken authority

of all our human neediness

 yet showing

 DISPLAYING

 with every CHOICE they make

 the heart inherent

 of a wider surrender

 to a higher order

 of symbiosis

and so, of course,

we open them up

and send them on their way, again

in one manner or another,

—as long as they are far enough away from us—

in order that we don't endure

one more moment

of their garishness

and then

some time 'later’

in true accordance

with our devotion

to the ongoing structures

of our pathology

we repent

and erect monuments

and writings

that seed the growth

of yet more institutions

and their thronging followers

who will inevitably grow cold

in the expanding shadow

of their image

as it fades

on the horizon

is it prophetic, possibly?

did they not warn us

to look out for it?

did they not, in fact, admonish us

in the hopes of helping us to see it coming?

who knows.

but whatever the case

it is, at the very least,

dishearteningly predictable.

...then again, it's not on us, is it?


Image: Aha-Soft

 
poems & imagesk.w.nicol